Epistle #56: “Eager Anticipation” from former St. Paul member Lynda Courage


Oh what a different world we live in today.  On February 8, my youngest daughter gave birth to her fifth child, my 13th grandchild, Rosalie.  Soon after that the WHOLE world changed.  I haven’t been able to see the little one, hold her, reassure her of safety….part of the reason we moved to Iowa was so I could help my daughter and be part of the kids’ lives as they were growing up.  We have gone over and stood on their deck to see them and let them know we love them. (They live in Adel.)  I am skyping and having virtual tea parties with the 8 and 5 year old girls. We read stories and play with the filters to make ourselves look funny to each other and have gigglefests (my 5 year old’s favorite thing to do with me as we go to sleep during our previously frequent sleepovers!).  We talk and share funny stories and tell each other over and over how much we miss each other and love each other.  Virtual hugs…not always the same as the real thing!

As I stood in line to check out at Fareway on Good Friday, I kept asking myself why, oh why, is this called “Good” Friday.  I wasn’t bitter, but just wondering.  Gosh, at my age you think I would have asked this question years ago, but nope, I didn’t.  I became a little anxious and drove home (less than 2 minutes!).  I reflected on the plethora of basic blessings that I am personally aware of in my own life…I have a husband who loves and protects me, I have a wonderful home, great neighbors, a car that is full of gas, cupboards full of food, internet access, phone, a washer/dryer, clothing enough PLUS, television access, sun streaming through my windows, I lack for nothing…what reason do I have to be anxious?  I still follow St. Paul on Facebook and listened to Pastor Brian’s message that day.  Not only did it answer “why is this day “Good”? but it also told me why I have those anxious moments.. I am missing human interaction…(not having to interact with them wearing a mask and gloves and speaking 6 feet apart)…but I miss  holding my friends and loved ones, feeling them close to me, and hugging them, squeezing them, loving them close.  Then I wondered…..is this how our Savior waits for us?  Does he love us from afar longing for us to be in his arms again?  Really there with him….not “social distance” not watching from afar through the patio door, but really holding us and saying “You are safe.  So good to see you, I have missed you, I love you!”?  I am sure He does.  I have no doubt.

Am I still going to long for my family and friends?  Will I still have moments of being anxious? You bet!  But I can anticipate being with them again. Soon, I hope.  If I get this excited about seeing my earthly family after only a short while…how much more excited I will be when I get to see my Heavenly family.

I do miss my St. Paul family.  When I moved to Iowa 3 years ago, you were my “go to” people.  You knew where I needed to get whatever it was I looking for.  I had moved halfway across America to Winterset and my husband was still back in New York.  But I had friends, and I still do!

I anxiously await holding my grandbabies and seeing them happy and smiling.  I for sure, know that Jesus awaits my return with even more anticipation…He has sent the Holy Spirit to speak to me…if I only listen.  Something else to look forward to…without masks, gloves, or social distancing.  ..

Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is a gift.

Lynda Courage


Church office email: StPaulLutheranChurch@hotmail.com
Pastor Brian Mortenson email: StPaulPastor1941@gmail.com
Pastoral Emergencies: 605-351-0867

Church office phone: 515-462-4270